I haven't posted for a while. I've stagnated for the past few months and I've had nothing to say. I still attend St. Mark's and love it. It is like a family...and all that a family entails. Perhaps I was becoming complacent in where I was at. I had a useful nudge a couple of weeks ago. I was asked if I would consider helping with the Sunday School. My initial reaction shocked me. The instant thought that formed in my mind was "I'm not prepared to indoctrinate children". Suddenly I realise that my faith, not even the size of a mustard seed was more feeble than I knew.
I'm prepared for others to indoctrinate my children in Sunday School? But I'm not prepared to take the responsibility myself - hmmm - well that tell you more than I really want you to know about me but in the spirit of openness on this faith journey I feel compelled to share.
Early on at St. Mark's I was collared by a faithful Christian. She said in an aggressive tone "Why do you bother bring your children to church if you don't believe?" The answer is simple. I am confused and I don't know. I feel I must give them the opportunity to make their own mind up about it all. Whether that will work in practice, I don't know.
My daughter seems to share my ambiguity but is currently probably more "faithful" than me in that she willingly identifies herself as a Christian.
My son seems to share his father's firm atheist beliefs and just says "I hate church".
I can only respond on a non-intellectual level. Whether the specifics in the bible are true or not, metaphorical or literal - I KNOW that our life as a family is significantly improved, since going to St. Mark's. I feel enriched and nourished by the friendship, the community and most importantly that thing I struggle to understand or define....the holy spirit.
So far, the atheist world has yet to provide anything that comes close to the church in what it offers. Somehow a bacon roll & the Sunday papers, whilst having a certain instant gratification pleasingness about them, don't really cut it when compared to the fullness and what is on offer at church.
So far, the atheist world has yet to provide anything that comes close to the church in what it offers. Somehow a bacon roll & the Sunday papers, whilst having a certain instant gratification pleasingness about them, don't really cut it when compared to the fullness and what is on offer at church.
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