Reveal Yourself

If you've read previous posts you will know that a friend suggested that I ask God to reveal Himself to me in a way that I cannot rationalise myself out of. Quite often I find myself asking Him to reveal himself when I am on the school run. Today I said "Please can you just reveal yourself to me so that I can KNOW". Promptly a car pulled out of a side road and it was as if I was invisible. The car pulled in behind me and missed my car by millimetres. 300 yards later a cat randomly jumped out of a hedge into my path. I jammed on the brakes and he escaped unharmed.

I had a passing thought - "God - you're having a laugh!" If I believed - then yes it was very impressive - two random events within minutes of each other. A millisecond either way and a whole different result would have ensued. 

Am I any nearer? No.

Random acts? No idea.

My favourite joke - and why it doesn't really work

This is my favourite joke. I am going to tell you why it isn't funny and what is wrong with it. I like this joke because there was a split second before I worked it out that I thought it was really funny.

So here goes;

"A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked Him if this was "it". God said, "No, I am sending you back. You have another 40 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, breast augmentation, and a tummy tuck. She even had her hairdresser come to the hospital to change her hair colour before she was released to go home. She figured that since she had such a long life ahead of her, she had better make the most of it.

After all the operations, she left the hospital and while crossing the street she was hit by an ambulance and was immediately killed. Coming face to face with God, the woman demanded, "I thought you said I had another forty years left to live. What happened?"

God replied: "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you." 

What's right with this joke? The message is that God loves you for who you are and you do not need to change. So what's wrong with this joke?

1. There is NO WAY that God would not recognise you. I can do no better than quote Psalm 139 which sums up God's intimate knowledge of each of us. (Scroll down to find the whole of the psalm).


2. The second thing that is wrong with this joke is the implausibility of the woman's reaction. She MET God. Let me say that again - She MET God! She gained the proof that doubting Thomas' such as myself crave. She did not need to believe or have faith - she KNEW God and he knew her. She spoke to him and he gave her another 40 years of life.

In return, when she woke up did she say to the doctors and nurses "Praise the Lord!"? No, instead we are faced with a completely prosaic response, "Get my hairstylist on the phone".

Perhaps this isn't as surprising as it may seem. After all, the Disciples knew Jesus and yet despite hanging around with him, seeing him calm the storm, heal people, speak with authority, cast out demons etc they still didn't get it. Time after time Jesus had patiently to re-explain who he was and why he was here on earth.

3. The third thing that is profoundly wrong with this - is that to quote Psalm 139 - Knowing God - would she not know that she was "fearfully and wonderfully made"? and therefore have no need of surgery.

4.This joke shows a profound misunderstanding of who God is and what he wants to do for each one of us in our lives. 

There is a chasm between the God that Christians know and the God portrayed here. So maybe it is a good joke after all - seeking to hold a mirror up to each of us - and showing up the casual, cavalier attitude of so many of us towards God.

As someone recently said to me "You can live without God but you can't die without him".


Psalm 139 (New International Version)

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

 ¹ You have searched me, LORD,

   and you know me.

² You know when I sit and when I rise;

   you perceive my thoughts from afar.

³ You discern my going out and my lying down;

   you are familiar with all my ways.

⁴ Before a word is on my tongue

   you, LORD, know it completely.

⁵ You hem me in behind and before,

   and you lay your hand upon me.

⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

   too lofty for me to attain.

 ⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?

   Where can I flee from your presence?

⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

   if I settle on the far side of the sea,

¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,

   your right hand will hold me fast.

¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

   and the light become night around me,”

¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;

   the night will shine like the day,

   for darkness is as light to you.

 ¹³ For you created my inmost being;

   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

   your works are wonderful,

   I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you

   when I was made in the secret place,

   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;

   all the days ordained for me were written in your book

   before one of them came to be.

¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts,^[a] God!

   How vast is the sum of them!

¹⁸ Were I to count them,

   they would outnumber the grains of sand—

   when I awake, I am still with you.

 ¹⁹ If only you, God, would slay the wicked!

   Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!

²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;

   your adversaries misuse your name.

²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,

   and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?

²² I have nothing but hatred for them;

   I count them my enemies.

²³ Search me, God, and know my heart;

   test me and know my anxious thoughts.

²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,

   and lead me in the way everlasting.

Two Steps forward - one step back

I've been wrestling for days about what to say. Two steps forward - one step back - sums it up really. I've been re-reading "The Unauthorised Version" by Robin Lane Fox, this time concentrating on the inaccuracies in Mark's Gospel. . Evangelist friends talk about the Bible being "the word of God breathed" and get very defensive / aggressive when I point out some basic inaccuracies. The usual line is that these were probably written about by atheists.

Here's just a couple I can think of off the top of my head - There was no decree from Caesar Augustus to the whole world.  A Roman census would not have taken Joseph to Bethlehem where he owed nothing. The census was used so they knew who to charge poll tax and property tax. As this was his ancestral home and not his home town there was no relevance to going there other than for the Gospel writers it fulfilled scripture.

Even if Joseph had to go to his own home town, he could represent his family so didn't need to take Mary.

Further, at that time Galilee, unlike Judea, was under independent rule so was not bound by a Roman census or taxing. As to proof of this - well, you can turn to Josephus - someone who is frequently turned to to justify and give credence to the Gospels' veracity. You can also look at coins of that period.

I just feel so tired of it all.

At Christianity Explored this week - we studied and discussed the Resurrection. I could see the frustration in the eyes of the "believer" on our table. Each table is given a leader who is a believer. They are not identified as such and don't make themselves known as such. Everyone turns up and sits down in groups of six and then it soon becomes apparent. On our table I am the only doubting Thomas. 

The "Believer" challenged me, "Where do you think you will end up if you don't believe?" If I follow the logic of the course so far I would have to say "Hell". "And do you really want to go there?". I rejoindered "No, but I can't make myself believe something I don't". I was starting to feel a little aggression and judgmentalism, on her part. I pointed out that all I could do was keep reading the Bible and going to church etc and hope/pray for a good outcome - relying on God's Grace - and that perhaps as many people believe - he will come to me in my last gasp. I think she thought this was a bit of a smart ass remark. She replied "So you're willing to wait that long are you?". 

I told her that only 7% of academics are religious  - and I imagine a few of those must work in the Theology department. So why is it easier to have faith when you are not in academia?

I explained that I felt that if I was a bit more stupid I might believe or if I was more clever it might help but instead I was stuck in a limbo of unknowing. She countered that I didn't have to understand to believe.....doubting Thomas etc.

That is indeed true - but not helpful to my state of limbo.

I've been reading a great book by Dr. Nick Edwards (a pseudonym) all about life working for the NHS. 

For some reason I feel particularly atheist today.

They are praying for me.

Faith as small as a mustard seed

I've been fasting for five days now. Superficially for the very selfish reason of wanting to lose weight but also because Jesus fasted and I wanted to try to understand more about it through experiencing the ups and downs of a fast. Secondly, my fast coincidentally started at the same time as Murray Norton commenced his five day 500 mile charity bike ride. I decide I would fast and I would then give him £100 sponsorship being a notional equivalent of money saved (not going out to dinner, not spending on takeaways or spending on alcohol). Thirdly, I was just intrigued to see what would happen. There have been highs and lows - I was on such a high on Monday night. I went to my favourite restaurant (Pizza Express). I watched everyone else eat my favourite (!) pizza. I drank water and I feasted on God's word. It was Christianity Explored night so it was a great opportunity to find out more about Jesus whilst fasting.

Mustard seed

I've also googled fasting and there is a huge amount of information to process, which hopefully in due course will find its way onto this blog.

Mostly I have so far described myself as a non-believer who sometimes has faith the size of a mustard seed. Perhaps you are noticing a change in me as this blog progresses. All I can say is, I don't feel my "faith" has grown but I feel my non-belief is fading. I have stopped fighting and now ask myself that HUGE question - "What if it is true?". Think about it - "What if what Mark says in his gospel is true?". The implications for the whole world are awesome.

I've copied the first chapter from Mark's Gospel below. I've chosen to use a version from a particular translation of the bible called "The Message". I have done this as I feel that for many people like myself we have heard the words so many times, our senses are dulled. I keep reading this and asking myself the question "What if it's true?".

Mark Chapter One -   

The good news of Jesus Christ—the Message!—begins here, following to the letter the scroll of the prophet Isaiah.

Watch closely: I'm sending my preacher ahead of you;    He'll make the road smooth for you.    Thunder in the desert!    Prepare for God's arrival!    Make the road smooth and straight!

^4-6John the Baptizer appeared in the wild, preaching a baptism of life-change that leads to forgiveness of sins. People thronged to him from Judea and Jerusalem and, as they confessed their sins, were baptized by him in the Jordan River into a changed life. John wore a camel-hair habit, tied at the waist with a leather belt. He ate locusts and wild field honey.

^7-8As he preached he said, "The real action comes next: The star in this drama, to whom I'm a mere stagehand, will change your life. I'm baptizing you here in the river, turning your old life in for a kingdom life. His baptism—a holy baptism by the Holy Spirit—will change you from the inside out."

^9-11At this time, Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. The moment he came out of the water, he saw the sky split open and God's Spirit, looking like a dove, come down on him. Along with the Spirit, a voice: "You are my Son, chosen and marked by my love, pride of my life."

Arrogance

"A" said to me that she thought Christians were arrogant to think that God made people in his image. Well, I suppose Christians are only repeating what is in the bible. 

Is there an arrogance to atheism? Is the belief that there is nothing out there and that "I'm the boss" also a bit arrogant? and maybe a bit naive, when we consider how tiny earth is, compared to the Cosmos?

Can you learn to be lovely?

A friend of mine said he needed to "work on being lovely" before finding a girlfriend so I googled "Can you learn to be lovely?". The secular answer according to google is "no". But of course "Ask and ye shall receive" springs to mind. Maybe all he needs to do is ask to be lovely, it certainly beats google's response - which I have turned into a poem of sorts.

Learning to be lovely (google style)

You can learn Bulgarian

You can learn to take lovely

Cityscape photographs

You can learn to clean

Granite countertops

You can learn to read

“The Lovely Bones”

You can learn the care

Of lovely pets

You can learn to sing

“Gonna be a lovely day”

But you can't learn to be lovely

Nice gadgets help you learn Chinese

Nice girls help you finish first

But best of all

You can

Learn to be nice

Just read this

And meditate for 10,000 hours

Lutz, A., Brefczynski-Lewis, J., Johnstone, T., Davidson, R.J., Baune, B. (2008). Regulation of the Neural Circuitry of Emotion by Compassion Meditation: Effects of Meditative Expertise. PLoS ONE, 3(3), e1897. DOI: 10.1371/journal.pone.0001897

Man's search for meaning

I've mentioned Victor Frankl's book before and will probably mention again as this certainly is in my top ten life changing books. Frankl's theory that our primary drive is not the pursuit of pleasure (Freud) but the pursuit of meaning had resonance with me as I came to dislike the saccharine phrase on my fridge magnet, "The purpose of life is to be happy"; Dalai Lama.

I don't pursue pleasure. I run away from it. I hide in the corner and watch pleasure. I cosh pleasure with a chemical cocktail of alcohol and food (this has replaced cigarettes).

This is what I found about the book on the internet;

Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl's memoir has riveted generations of readers with its descriptions of life in Nazi death camps and its lessons for spiritual survival. Between 1942 and 1945 Frankl labored in four different camps, including Auschwitz, while his parents, brother, and pregnant wife perished. Based on his own experience and the experiences of those he treated in his practice, Frankl argues that we cannot avoid suffering but we can choose how to cope with it, find meaning in it, and move forward with renewed purpose. Frankl's theory—known as logotherapy, from the Greek word logos ("meaning")—holds that our primary drive in life is not pleasure, as Freud maintained, but the discovery and pursuit of what we personally find meaningful.At the time of Frankl's death in 1997, Man's Search for Meaning had sold more than 10 million copies in twenty-four languages. A 1991 reader survey by the Library of Congress and the Book-of-the-Month Club that asked readers to name a "book that made a difference in your life" found Man's Search for Meaning among the ten most influential books in America. Born in Vienna in 1905 Viktor E. Frankl earned an M.D. and a Ph.D. from the University of Vienna. He published more than thirty books on theoretical and clinical psychology and served as a visiting professor and lecturer at Harvard, Stanford, and elsewhere. In 1977 a fellow survivor, Joseph Fabry, founded the Viktor Frankl Institute of Logotherapy. Frankl died in 1997. Harold S. Kushner is rabbi emeritus at Temple Israel in Natick, Massachusetts, and the author of several best-selling books, including When Bad Things Happen to Good People.William J. Winslade is a philosopher, lawyer, and psychoanalyst at the University of Texas Medical School in Galveston.